The most read blog post on Feel My Faith is one I wrote in June of 2009 answering the question, “Will I still be married in heaven?” Many people come to Feel My Faith searching for an answer to this question during a time of pain in the recent loss of their spouse. While I do not usually republish my response to comments on posts, I have responded to an anonymous question I received last night. I offer this post hoping that this conversation will be beneficial in many ways. Hopefully it will lend some perspective on the issue of suicide, especially those, like anonymous who are thinking of suicide as a valid way to end pain and reunite with a loved one. I hope this post will also prove beneficial to those who are trying to counsel loved ones through times of loss and hopelessness.
Anonymous (12/14/11), I am sorry to hear of the loss of your wife and certainly understand that you must be suffering from a great deal of pain. While it is not unnatural for you to have feelings and thoughts of hopelessness at a time like this, we must be careful not to allow ourselves to be overcome with hopelessness, especially to the point of suicide.
Allow me to “think” through some things with you. First of all, I hope you do not see my comments as being judgmental in the sense of that I am ultimately condemning YOU. Judging is sinful when I fail to 1) offer grace and humility as if I am NOT a sinner as well and 2) when I try to play the role of God in ultimately condemning you. When it comes to this idea of suicide people also mistakenly believe it to be the “ultimate” condemning sin from which there is no forgiveness. I do not see where the Bible teaches this to be true.
However, suicide is sin. It is the sin of self-murder. We do not have the right to take innocent life under any circumstance. So, if I may help you think about this. . .allow me to offer this scenario.
You stated, “I lost my wife 3 months ago and I miss her deeply , I want to take my own life to be with her . Will I be forgiven ? Please don’t judge me .”
Since suicide is sin, what if someone wrote to me and offered this scenario:
“I lost my job 3 months ago and I am running out of money. I want to rob a bank. Will I be forgiven? Please don’t judge me.”
Or, “My wife had an affair on my 3 months ago. I want to kill her. Will I be forgiven? Please don’t judge me.”
Do you understand the point I am trying to make? While your pain is very real, the solution you propose of wanting to end the pain and reunite with your wife through suicide is destructive and sinful.
Please do not murder yourself. There is incredible hope in the gospel and I would implore you to seek counsel immediately regarding this. While I am thankful that you have written to me, I beg of you to find a godly person to talk to and share your feelings with. I will certainly be praying for you.
BB, Gal. 2:20